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Thread: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

  1. #61
    Member Array SkyHigh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by Pladman View Post
    i jokingly said id do a special fireworks show for the milestone...she did not think it was funny...AT ALL
    No offense to you pladman but your girlfriend is bringing me down and i don't even know you guys lol...
    Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

  2. #62
    Sub Rosa Member Array UnkleSAm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky-fire79 View Post
    I dont think thats what the majority were getting at, they were getting at her not supporting him, and if she cant even support him now and not married, it will only get worse once marrier, trust me, i went down this road and it was very bad------its give and take, and thats the bottom line
    Yeah, you give and she takes.
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    you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

  3. #63
    Member Array rwhip76's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    1). Double your income now, and tell her that it was pyro expenditures that motivated you to do so.
    -OR-
    2). If #1 is not possible, develop a savings plan. So...beyond bills, necessities, your new savings plan, and/or joint savings goals (i.e. vacations), everything else is "pyro money" for you. Keep this extra cash in a separate account.
    -OR-
    3). Set aside a small amount of cash each week (or two weeks or month?) to use just for pyro. $40/week is about $2K/yr. Set something up with your bank to make automatic deductions into a separate savings account? I use ingdirect.com (better interest rate).


    Easier said than done, but I thought I'd offer...

    I think the worst thing you can do with a pyro-hating wife is to go into debt or detract from "couples things" due to pyro expenses.

  4. #64
    Member Array Barracuda's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Guys that bitch about their wives or girlfriends are the problem.

    Have more respect for the the person you choose to spend time with or better yet, the rest of your life. If you are crabbing about it then do something about it or just shut up. I think it is as shameful as one can get when guys talk garbage about their significant other. If you don't like the relationship you are in then get out of it. I feel the same way about guys who cheat on their wife.

    I celebrated my 10 year anniversary this summer with my wife. We took our two little boys to Mexico with us and had a blast. A traditional Mayan ceremony on the beach with a shaman was killer. Love 'em or leave 'em boys.

    As for pyro, it is for me. My wife shakes her head and laughs. She doesn't get it, thinks it is a waste of money, but she knows I like it and tolerates it. I don't bring her with for pyro events, and she doesn't bring me shoe shopping. Pyro is a guy thing to me. I'll put it right up there with my fishing.

    Either way OP, think your choices through and good luck making a decision.
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  5. #65
    Member Array Pladman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by Barracuda View Post
    Guys that bitch about their wives or girlfriends are the problem.

    Have more respect for the the person you choose to spend time with or better yet, the rest of your life. If you are crabbing about it then do something about it or just shut up. I think it is as shameful as one can get when guys talk garbage about their significant other. If you don't like the relationship you are in then get out of it. I feel the same way about guys who cheat on their wife.

    I celebrated my 10 year anniversary this summer with my wife. We took our two little boys to Mexico with us and had a blast. A traditional Mayan ceremony on the beach with a shaman was killer. Love 'em or leave 'em boys.

    As for pyro, it is for me. My wife shakes her head and laughs. She doesn't get it, thinks it is a waste of money, but she knows I like it and tolerates it. I don't bring her with for pyro events, and she doesn't bring me shoe shopping. Pyro is a guy thing to me. I'll put it right up there with my fishing.

    Either way OP, think your choices through and good luck making a decision.
    oh i dont have a huge problem with it, i just wanted to know if anyone else's girl was quietly unsupportive or supportive. is all. i love her, and when things go well she does enjoy the fireworks.

  6. #66
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    In recent years my wife has been more involved in my fourth of July process. I started taking her to demos, which got her into picking out product, then she'd ocasionally watch videos online when I was putting orders together or she'd tell me stuff I should get we saw at the demo. The last couple years she's helped me fuse up my finale with my 16 cue firing system. Having her be involved seems to have gone a pretty long way in her being accepting of my hobby.

  7. #67

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    I got lucky apparently, mine isn't as into it as I am, but she's slowly getting into it. I started her off with little fountains and last 4th she shot off her first cake. New years I'm thinking about letting her go with a linked series of cakes...

    If she was one of the ones that hated it, and she constantly got on me about it. Then it would be either her or the fireworks.... and the fireworks would win. I'm not gonna let someone stop me from doing something I love doing just because they don't like it. That's not how relationships work...

  8. #68
    Member Array echostorm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by Insanity View Post
    . I'm not gonna let someone stop me from doing something I love doing just because they don't like it. That's not how relationships work...
    so very true. A relationship isn't about controlling someone or molding them into what you think they should be- its accepting each other for the good and the bad, the rich and the poor, and everything that goes along with it.
    I love my wife, and she loves me... she isn't the biggest pyro fan by any means, but she accepts it just as she accepts me, and I accept the annoying crap she does that I have to deal with.

    I am getting her involved in things with me, and I am sure you guys will be meeting her at events in the future. Hopefully one day she will be as excited about it as I am, or at least pretend to be. ( like I pretend to love her cooking)

  9. #69

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by echostorm View Post
    so very true. A relationship isn't about controlling someone or molding them into what you think they should be- its accepting each other for the good and the bad, the rich and the poor, and everything that goes along with it.
    I love my wife, and she loves me... she isn't the biggest pyro fan by any means, but she accepts it just as she accepts me, and I accept the annoying crap she does that I have to deal with.

    I am getting her involved in things with me, and I am sure you guys will be meeting her at events in the future. Hopefully one day she will be as excited about it as I am, or at least pretend to be. ( like I pretend to love her cooking)
    My little lady was not into pyro at all until this past 4th of July when she seen me teaching her siblings how to safely ignite a firework using a punk. They thought it was incense.. I let that one slide becauses its true, it does resemble incense. In the end, she noticed how much fun everyone was having so she decided to ask me for some fireworks to light which made my heart melt hearing her say those words.. I gave her a fountain assortment and she went crazy for them! She is not ready for cakes or shells, and I doubt she will ever be ready. Which is okay in my book! As long as shes supportive and joins in the festivities once in awhile.

    Anyone have a girlfriend/s or wife/s that absolutely hates your pyro hobby...cough:addiction:cough?

  10. #70
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by echostorm View Post
    so very true. .....I love my wife, and she loves me... she isn't the biggest pyro fan by any means, but she accepts it just as she accepts me, and I accept the annoying crap she does that I have to deal with.................... ( like I pretend to love her cooking)

    I was thinking all mussy mussy kissy kissy Then the surprise (I accept the annoying crap she does that I have to deal) Sounds like a long time happily married man "like me". Make me laugh.

    You gotta pick your battles and sometimes go along to get along. But is has to be a two way street. Hopefully it is for a long happy life time. Not until you get tired of each other. 24 years married plus seven dating and engaged for me.
    Last edited by Northern Sky; September 13th, 2011 at 04:08 PM. Reason: too long
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  11. #71

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    2 words...

    Click me
    -2 cents

  12. #72
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    That's a riot.

    And for a Doctor to boot. Whoda think it.
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  13. #73
    Member Array pyro92's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    I've slowly been getting my gf into fireworks, she doesn't like them as much as me(no where near), but I'm working on it. This past Saturday I let her fuse up my 30 shot finale rack for the show I did, she did a great job and everything fired. I think the more I show her how fun the hobby is and have her help with my shows with picking out items and designing the show, she'll get into it more.
    Come to the pyro side, we have things that go BOOM!

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  14. #74

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by Diamond Dave View Post
    You need to dump this girl now. If you got it this bad now, wait till you get married. Then you will know what hell is all about. You can kiss your pyro shooting days goodbye.

    Diamond Dave
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    run while you stilllll cannnn......
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  15. #75
    Member Array mgh1980's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    My wife absolutely hated fireworks, it all started a few years ago. She finally saw one of my shows and kept asking how much was this or how much was that, now do it all from a firing system, and its even worse. She researched how much certain things cost by looking them up in a phantom catalog of all things. Needless to say, she's hated fireworks since then. I tell her I get most of the stuff way cheaper, then I would have to get into the exact amount of how much I spent for this, why I have 4 cases of x cals, why I have 3 cases of this. Why do I need 5 firing systems.... it goes on and on, way too many questions, so I don't bother.

    This past Fourth, I had a lower key show than ususal. Lots of stuff going on in my life, as well as neighbor issues at my usual shoot site. My wife actually enjoyed the show. I built up a huge stash over the years, and didn't make too many trips this year, so funding was good, and she was happy. She was convinced that what I shot is what I have...What she don't know, won't hurt her.

    I won't complain about her hating fireworks, I married her and love her none the less. I just have to work on her love of fireworks a bit. She just shakes her head sometimes wondering why? I think that most wives you talk to will call pyro a waste of money. To me, she figures I could be doing much worse things and have worse hobbies than pyro.
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  16. #76
    Member Array Catfish25p2000's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Its over brother... I'm not telling you to dump her or stay with her, but I can tell you that if she has such a hatred for fireworks and you plan on being with her forever, pyro is over. We all have to understand that our hobby is perhaps the worst one on the planet as far as women go. Women love money and we spend ours to go out in a field and blow it up in the sky... Literally... There are few women out there that are understanding and supportive of a hobby such as ours. I will tell you though, that if she hates it that much at this point, she will only grow to resent and hate it more as time goes on. Its not the end of the world though. If you love her and can lead a happy life without fireworks, it could end up a great thing. On the same note, I will caution you that she probably will not ever like anything that 1 - takes your attention off of her, 2 - you could possibly enjoy without her being present. These, my friend, are the facts. Like I said, its not the end of the world. There are two kinds of men out there... 1 - the kind that do what they are going to do and their spouses either like or don't like it. 2 - The kind of guys that wait for their spouse to tell them what to do, then go do it. Neither one is wrong. Good luck my friend. You have a tough decision to make.
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  17. #77
    Member Array Bufbradwll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Get her involved a little at a time, let her pick out some product if see wants, even let her have a segment in your show. It worked for me!!

  18. #78
    Member Array shockwave's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    my wife loves fireworks... or more accurately, loves watching fireworks. she doesn't love the whole spending lots of time and money beforehand setting up a display. she is always concerned about my safety, and rightfully so... she doesn't want to raise our 2 kids on her own. but before we got married, I had already been scuba diving, sky diving, flying, mountain climbing, snowboarding and bungee jumping so she knew what she was getting herself into. I don't expect her to embrace all of my hobbies, but I try to remember that every feminine cell in her body is telling her to protect me from all these "dangers" and I try to keep that in mind. I was a little surprised at how much our kids like fireworks. my little 1 year old daughter says that the breaks are "birds"
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  19. #79
    Member Array mgh1980's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    You are who you are, you love fireworks, that's you! If she wants to be with you to change who you are, then tell her take a hike. I think most women want to change the guy they're with to fit their ideals, and eventually give up. It's about the equivalent that every guy wants a woman with D boobs, but in the end we marry our best friends, and someone we love. I think if your relationship is about changing that person to be your ideal mate, then its a waste of time. My wife has issues with pyro because of the danger (we're both in the medical field) as well as the money aspect. She understands this is what I do, she may not like it, but I am who I am. I honestly don't think she would enjoy me chomping at the bit on the fourth when someone is putting on a display, and I have nothing.
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  20. #80
    Member Array Pyrohobie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    We have been married for over 24 years now- My wife lived through the accident of 89(10 shattered bones in hand and wrist). Having 2 sons with autism. And that's right, we are still married. I am retired now from fireworks(well sort of) and you all better realize that fireworks are great-but nothing is as great as a wife that loves you.

    I have put on some shows that were second to none(price wise) and still love the hobby/business. But, I still would give it up in a second if it caused a divorce.

    A couple years after giving it up(professional) the people that seen your shows will forgot how great YOUR shows were and think on how good the shows were this year. And you have to realize that it was nothing more than a flash in time(nothing more).

    That's when you will realize your marriage/girl friend is much more important in the long run.

    It doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun-just keep it in check.
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  21. #81

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by leeca View Post
    I showed my wife my life insurance policy and how much money she would get if I kill myself.. After that she said go for it knock yourself out Lol !!!
    Bored out of my mind in philosophy class so I'm browsing older PyroU threads. This just made my day.

  22. #82
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by Pyrohobie View Post
    We have been married for over 24 years now- My wife lived through the accident of 89(10 shattered bones in hand and wrist). Having 2 sons with autism. And that's right, we are still married. I am retired now from fireworks(well sort of) and you all better realize that fireworks are great-but nothing is as great as a wife that loves you.

    I have put on some shows that were second to none(price wise) and still love the hobby/business. But, I still would give it up in a second if it caused a divorce.

    A couple years after giving it up(professional) the people that seen your shows will forgot how great YOUR shows were and think on how good the shows were this year. And you have to realize that it was nothing more than a flash in time(nothing more).

    That's when you will realize your marriage/girl friend is much more important in the long run.

    It doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun-just keep it in check.
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  23. #83

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    My wife is quite frugal and doesn't like fireworks because of the perceived danger.
    But on the other hand she realizes there are a lot worse vices than fireworks.
    Last edited by scarp9603; May 22nd, 2012 at 11:00 AM. Reason: Typo
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  24. #84

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    I'm single.. for partially this reason. Someone else mentioned about marrying your best friend. Where I live, finding a Christian young lady that doesn't drink/smoke, has similar beliefs... and can enjoy fireworks and firearms with me is a rare item. Sure, that is a rough blanket statement, but I want to share the things I love with my best friend, and enjoy them with her. That quick description basically equates to a needle in a haystack. If the OP's GF is going to go ballistic over just a hobby, RUN!

  25. #85

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    My girlfriend kinda treats fireworks and sex the same: She doesn't want to talk about it, thinks I obsess too much about it, likes it when it's happening but glad as hell when it's over!!! LOL!! Fifteen years together and I don't see an end in sight. I don't understand her Coach bag obsession but I would never tell her not to buy a new one. I've always felt that as long as the bills we all paid and you want to buy something then go for it.

  26. #86
    Member Array FireBug270's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    I'll drink to that!

  27. #87
    Member Array St1dinoh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    when you pick up an order from us here at millers, there is a section on the pick list that shows the total weight of your order... that number is almost always lower than the total price of your order.

    for example (actual order):

    Wt: 10,747.20
    SubTotal: 21,075.28

    as you can imagine showing her the weight from the pick list goes over a lot better than showing her the total price from the invoice.

    it makes things easier
    Last edited by St1dinoh; May 23rd, 2012 at 11:45 AM.
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  28. #88

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    My wife enjoys fireworks shows (like the 4th, PGI, etc.) and is supportive of me ... but other than that she doesn't have much interest in fireworks unless she's lighting them.

  29. #89

    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Pladman,
    The writing is on the wall......

    Two options...
    The first is the least expensive...Get out while you still can,....

    or

    Happy wife equals happy life....

    The two go together...If you are an ugly sob...then cut down on the fireworks....
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  30. #90
    Member Array Pyrohobie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives / girlfriend on your case too? Any secret tips are welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by St1dinoh View Post
    when you pick up an order from us here at millers, there is a section on the pick list that shows the total weight of your order... that number is almost always lower than the total price of your order.

    for example (actual order):

    Wt: 10,747.20
    SubTotal: 21,075.28

    as you can imagine showing her the weight from the pick list goes over a lot better than showing her the total price from the invoice.

    it makes things easier
    Yea- I bet your wife bought a 2012 Camaro and showed you the weight(as for the price) and you bought that also
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